This is now the third time I have tried rewriting this post and it’s so hard to articulate exactly what I want to say. I’m not embarrassed of the subject, but I firmly believe in it’s importance between husband and wife and words don’t seem to be doing it justice. I’ll do my best and hopefully I can get some of what I want to convey across.
In past posts I have talked about gender differences as well as marriage, which have lead up to this subject. Sexual intimacy is an important part of any marital relationship and should only be practiced within the bounds of marriage. Men and women are different and these differences can create wonderful lasting marriages if the relationship and marriage practices are healthy. If you hadn’t guessed already one of these differences is the way each experiences sex, mentally and physically.
Some of the physical aspects that are important to know how the body prepares itself when aroused, the reaction time during sex, and the hormones released in both the female and male bodies. I’m inserting a link from webmd that explains the three stages and what happens to the male and female body during sex. While having intercourse the body also releases the hormones dopamine and serotonin within the male and female bodies, and the hormone Oxytocin is released in female bodies only.
Dopamine causes excitement and serotonin helps with relaxation and happiness, but the third, Oxytocin, deals with attachment and is the same hormone that is released when a mother breast feeds her baby. Outside of spending time with one another this hormone also helps women attach to their husbands. This hormone can also lead to trouble for some women, especially those who have multiple sexual partners before marriage. Women who engage in casual sex with the same person, no matter if the mean to or not, will begin to attach to them. With each partner it will become harder and harder to attach in the future including with someone they have chosen to marry. This difficulty attaching to a spouse can also lead to marital problems in the future. Men’s bodies, on the other hand, don’t actually have oxytocin, there are other hormones that might play a small part in attachment, but not nearly as much as oxytocin does for women. Because of this difference men must work harder and be more intentional about their attachment.
Learning about our own bodies and opening the lines of communication by sharing this knowledge with our spouses. To really experience sexual intimacy that can deepen your relationship and love for one another you need to be selfless. Women need to feel safe, close, and warm in order to have sex and men have sex in order to feel safe close and warm. By husband and wife focusing on each other instead of themselves each will be able to get the most out of their experience together.
A very big part of my life is my belief in God, so if you are not a believer this last part might not be fore you, but it is very important to me. Sexual intimacy is an essential part of God’s plan for his children and should be treated as something sacred, not recreational. When a man and women, who have made covenants to one another under the bonds of matrimony, engage in sexual intimacy they are practicing the godly power of creation, and becoming one. When you remember the purpose behind sex it brings much more meaning and depth to the experience. Intimacy is something couples should engage in often together, strengthening their bonds with one another and with God.
Relationship Backpack 